


Dangerous Awakening

by Kisuru



Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Angst, Blindfolds, Bonding, Breathplay, Canon Universe, F/F, Forbidden Love, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Romance, Sibling Incest, Slice of Life, Smut, Trust Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-07 18:49:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14677209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kisuru/pseuds/Kisuru
Summary: Dia has always loved Ruby more than anyone else. The only problem is, she can never tell her younger sister her feelings. So, she throws herself into her work to stop thinking about her feelings. Meanwhile, Ruby is not happy about Dia avoiding her, and she decides to find a way they can be closer.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rubylily](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubylily/gifts).



One truth prevailed in Dia’s life above all else; Dia never needed to check a room for Ruby’s presence. She simply _knew_ she was there  
  
Ruby’s gentle aura always attracted her attention. She clearly envisioned the way in which Ruby’s pigtails swung in an enthusiastic, hypnotizing flounce against the side of her head. She thought of the way her green eyes sparkled cheerfully. The room seemed to electrify and tilt the moment she stepped over the cold threshold; her laugh penetrated every nook, cranny and crevice of Dia’s barren thoughts, bringing light and joy back to the grey of her own uncertainty.  
  
She had insecurities. But all she could do was bottle her butterflies and refuse their escape.  
  
On that day as Ruby entered the clubroom, sunlight peeked from its slumber behind a lofty cloud and brushed her cheek. She spoke, but Dia drowned the words out, because she was aware of where her mind was headed.  
  
Yet Dia’s nose remained pointed towards the book. She had to breathe in once, twice, and on the third, her body ached and strained.  
  
On most afternoons before idol club practice commenced Dia snuck in a few extra minutes of study time. Doing so was most efficient when her mind was still sharp after the day's lessons. After all, a moment should never be wasted. She always planned to be a role model for the entirety of Aqours whether or not they saw her. Most of all, she couldn’t be a slouch and goof off for Ruby’s sake.  
  
Ruby must notice her finer points, even if she would never notice Dia’s inner turmoil.  
  
“I picked up something at the store.” Satisfied with herself, Yoshiko nodded and pointed at her bag. She flopped it on top of her a desk.  
  
Hanamaru’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t tell me it’s another magical spell book,” she said. “I don’t know where you buy so many of them, zura.”  
  
Yoshiko’s cheeks puffed irritably. She glared at her. “No way, i-t’s something different!”  
  
Hanamaru shook her head. Her expression stated she didn’t believe her. “Show us.”  
  
Ruby smiled. Today, she was ever so cute. Cuter than the day before, and before that! Dia lost track of Yoshiko and Hanamaru for several seconds while she watched Ruby sit down. Her laugh was mirthful at her friends’ banter and sent a chill down Dia’s spine.  
  
“I have to admit another spell book would be cool,” Ruby admitted, “but now I’m curious.”  
  
Dia wanted a better look at Ruby’s face. Just to look close into her eyes would be enough happiness for her. Then, she would—then—  
  
Dia sucked in a breath. She just . . . couldn’t do this anymore. She was getting ahead of herself. Dia bit her lip, hard, nearly drawing blood. She dug her nose in her history book in retaliation, trying to drown them out.  
  
Like that, she willed herself to relax. She tuned out the first years’ shuffling.  
  
That was acceptable, right? It was a book. Of course! They were taking learning something seriously. Dia should applaud them, but she had a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach the moment Yoshisho spoke up. She was shy, yet oddly apprehensive with a certain flare of determination, which was telling for her.  
  
“A magazine about—“ Yoshiko pulled the item out of her bag with a flourish. Dramatically, she covered her heart and posed as Ruby and Hanamaru looked on—“love, so we can find love with our own special little demons!”  
  
Dia froze as though a cold wind smacked her. Her pencil tip stabbed into her study book's clean, crisp page. Immediately, she regretted arriving early to the clubroom. Her efforts to remain an inactive listener were futile.  
  
Despite that she hated herself for it, the corner of her eye sought out the point of her dread. The magazine in question had a spread of hearts and flowers and other cutesy things that nauseated Dia. Ruby’s gaze landed on it while Yoshiko spread the glossy pages.  
  
Hanamaru huddled closer. She flipped a few of the pages and inspected each one of them thoughtfully. "Does this really work?"  
  
“We take the quizzes, and we’ll be pros at love in no time. For example—“ Yoshiko pointed to a patch of text bubbles on the page Hanamaru stopped on—“this quiz tells you about how dangerous you have to be to find love. They’ll fall all over you, seeing how reliable you are. Your dangerous aura will attract the little demons to your wily charms. Isn’t that right!?” She glowered at Ruby.  
  
Ruby squeaked at being singled-out. She blinked, flustered, not sure that was quite her own approach. It most certainly wasn’t anything “dangerous” without a doubt.  
  
"I-I don't think I can have a dangerous aura so casually for l-love,” Ruby interjected. A pink blush dusted her cheeks. She glanced over Hanamaru’s shoulder and tapped both feet. She didn’t want to let them down. “I can try to g-get into the spirit of it. I just want to fall in love with someone I care about the most who accepts me for who I am."  
  
“Oh, Ruby-chan is already mature, zura!”  
  
  
Dia sighed to herself at Ruby's admission. Her sweet, lovable Ruby would never have to be a ruffian for attention, or accept someone that wasn’t good enough for her on default. She was well-aware of that fact without reminding her. Thoughts otherwise were absurd!  
  
In fact, that was what Dia had feared her whole life; Ruby's ambitious nature would lead her to exploring romance in ways Dia couldn't protect her from. Protecting her from everything was impossible but that didn’t mean Dia wasn’t apt to pull out each weapon in her arsenal and fight tooth and nail.  
  
The image of a figure sweeping Ruby off her feet floated to Dia's mind's eye.  
  
_A pure white stallion stood in front of a carriage shrouded in orange. A sunset shimmered in the background. Ruby didn’t bother to look at her. She placed a gloved hand in a shadowy hand of her beloved sitting in the back of the carriage. Dia squashed down the scream that wanted to rip from her throat in sadness at the sight of them._  
  
It was a perfect fairy tale scenario.  
  
But as Dia’s own feelings were not simple, life was not fantasy. There were harsher realities.  
  
What would she do if Ruby ran home crying after a harsh breakup. Worse, her heart was broken? Such a thing made her blood boil.  
  
Here, Yoshiko and Hanamaru wanted to teach her about those things feet away from her.  
  
Dia grit her teeth. No. _No_! She should most certainly be happy for Ruby; she sounded adjusted for her age. To her utter dismay, however, she couldn’t accept this any further. She pushed herself out of her chair with a resounding _scriittzzz_ from the wooden chair legs and stomped over to the first years.  
  
"Shouldn't you three return to your studies?" Dia snapped. She squared her palms on her hips purposefully. Her eyes shone cold and steely like stone, stance full of command.  
  
As soon as Dia and Yohane’s eyes locked, it was Yohane’s downfall. Her hands shot up as if she had been caught red-handed by a cop.  
  
Yoshiko hurriedly slipped the book in her bag and sheepishly and shook her head. Despite that she was the distinguished and grand Yohane underneath it all, not even demons rivaled Dia's steadfast thirst for order.  
  
“I’m sorry! I didn’t, ahhh!” Yoshiko tripped over herself and hid behind Hanamaru.  
  
The hairs on the back of Ruby’s neck stood up at Dia’s protective stance. It was nothing new to her—Dia had defended her many times that way when they had been younger. She frowned, bewildered, but Dia ignored her silent plea. Her sister stared at the magazine with a contempt Ruby had never witnessed while she scolded students for disruptions.  
  
Dia paused and then grimaced. She huffed and returned to her seat. She didn’t bother pretending with her book. Idly, she placed her hand on the back of her chair. Evening sunlight cascaded over her face. Briefly, she wondered why she felt cold, skin prickling. The weak sunbeams burned her skin.  
  
She had to set a good example for Ruby, her inquisitive best friends, and most of all, the elimination of such unnecessary gossip. Ruby did not need a . . . definitely not . . . Dia was faint Ruby would need anyone else’s love.  
  
"Scary, zura," Hanamaru mumbled as soon as Dia returned to her desk out of earshot. She hunched down and nodded at Ruby. "Can't she lighten up after school hours?"  
  
The words fell on deaf ears for Ruby. Her gaze was on Dia’s retreating back. The wheels in her brain churned. Dia was always serious about making it to a proper university, but . . . her demeanor had been different. Her tone had been less playfully reprimanding and far too strict . . . and . . . She couldn't put a finger on Dia’s anger at an innocent magazine.  
  
Why was Dia so ruthless about a harmless magazine?


	2. Chapter 2

Hastily, Dia chewed on the edge of her eraser. Scattered textbooks, pencils, and a calculator covered the low rise table in front of her.  
  
Keeping her thoughts off of Ruby would protect her from whatever was happening to her. Holing herself up in her homework was the answer, and she had to do better.  
  
In this condition, she was well-prepared for a long study session. After all, her thoughts had been jumbled since the magazine incident, and she couldn’t allow that to detour her.  
  
Not Kurosawa Dia, the sister of Kurosawa Ruby. Keeping herself responsible and proper for Ruby was the mantelpiece of her image, and she must live up to their name.  
  
Nearby, Ruby watched a tape of an Aqours performance, seeking out any imperfections or strengths in her movements. The light from the television washed over her in the semi-dim room. Bless her little heart, she had completed her projects early in the evening.  
  
She was a good girl. No, she didn’t have any bad thoughts plaguing her about romance and her future. Ruby was a wonderful girl.  
  
As for Dia, on the other hand. . . .  
  
Indeed, what was she trying to accomplish?  
  
The essay notes in front of her were blank. Complex words and phrases and research floated carelessly in her mind. She forgot everything before she managed to scribble them. Typing had been just as useless to her earlier—Dia had thought handwriting her first draft would be immersing, but she found the paper as inviting as Yoshiko’s magazine.  
  
Was it possible to stay focused with Ruby there? She couldn’t leave, she didn’t want to. Dia might imagine her in her room, and she wouldn’t sleep, either!  Away from her, she might fantasize about tainted words she couldn’t allow to spill past her lips. Dia will scream them into her pillow again.  
  
Repetitive thoughts aggressively prodded her mind by the minute. Why did bottling her emotions up have to hurt so much? They were alone. Why couldn’t she spit it out in one heartbeat and deny it later?  
  
Dia clapped her hands together, and the tirade of selfishness in her heart came to a standstill. Ruby didn’t deserve someone who couldn’t wish for her happiness and she had to remind herself of that above all else.  
  
Nonetheless, her distaste towards the situation made her snatch a handful of her paperwork in one big pile. She had to organize it all properly. Now, she had a ridiculous amount of homework to catch up after her head had been in the clouds.  
  
A sharp, sliding sensation woke her out of her unwilling-Ruby-crazed reverie. Dia yelped a bit in shock. She hoped it wasn't what she thought it was. Unluckily for her, she spotted a droplet of blood ooze from a papercut.  
  
"Seriously?" Dia moaned. Nothing went uphill.  
  
"Onee-chan?" Ruby asked sleepily. Disturbed, she shifted around the couch pillow she was hugging. "Go to bed. Your eyes are red. That can't be good for your health. You sometimes need a rest. Tomorrow is Sunday, you know."  
  
Dia wondered how she knew her eyes were as exhausted and lethargic as her body felt, but she supposed it was a growing problem. Was she that obvious that she made her worry?  
  
Ruby’s tired green eyes scanned Dia. They were dark in the light, but there was a flicker, and she quickly latched onto the problem. Once she spotted the papercut across Dia’s pointer, her eyes widened, concerned.  
  
Dia’s body stirred. She couldn't resist the thrill of Ruby’s attention. Was she that pathetic a mere papercut was a big deal?  
  
Ruby wordlessly pushed herself off the couch and ran to the bathroom. Soon enough, she returned with a peeled bandage. She knelt at Dia's side and wrapped it around her skin.  
  
The tingle of Ruby's skin on hers calmed Dia's nerves down considerably. She looked away, embarrassed that she had to concede to this, forcing herself not to wrap Ruby in a crushing hug. She didn’t want to let her go all night.  
  
"Thanks," Dia said.  
  
“Just one paper at a time, okay?” Ruby reminded her. “Don’t push yourself. Do you remember what happened in the student council room with that big pile of papers?”  
  
“Yeah.” Dia didn’t know what to say. If she said something sustainable, she would be more lost. Ruby couldn’t stay near her.  
  
Ruby giggled. Dia was grumpy about these kinds of things, but she also had to put her foot down. "I know! See, and it'll all be better after a kiss. The magical kiss of healing."  
  
To Dia’s horror, she pressed her lips to the bandage. It was a butterfly kiss, slow and careful, full of care and gentleness.  
  
Dia's stomach did a full somersault. Her body went light, and the butterflies in her stomach started to nibble at her lungs, forcing her to breathe shallowly. She wanted to cry and fly and sing all in the same heartbeat. She hated herself so much for faltering and feeling the urge to touch Ruby's lips with her own.  
  
Why, why? Why!?  
  
"No, Ruby!" Dia spun away from her. She ripped her wrist away from Ruby. She gripped her arm tightly in her hand. "Please don't do that. Please, please don't do that again."  
  
"Why not?" Ruby frowned, startled. "You take care of me when something happens to me."  
  
"While that is true, I. . . ." Dia had nothing to say for herself. There were a million things that could justify it in theory; she only had to blame stress for her upcoming exams and the overexertion. Ruby would understand that, wouldn't she? No, no . . . Exams weren’t a good reason to act this icily towards her.  
  
When she was about to go for this explanation anyway, Dia was caught off-guard by Ruby’s vexed glare at her.  
  
"Dia, you're not being fair," Ruby told her.  
  
Anger bubbled within Dia before she realized it. "I only used to do that for you when we were kids!" Whenever Ruby earned herself a scrap, Dia would explain that her kisses healed her. It was older sister magic. But now that reciprocation brought her true pain.  
  
“I don’t care. Lately, I don’t understand you!”  
  
Ruby didn’t stay to argue. She clicked the television off and bounded out of the living room before Dia could formulate a coherent reply. Dia heard her bedroom door slam.  
  
Dia stared at the living room’s doorway until she realized she had forgotten how to breathe. She inhaled, exhaled, couldn’t find a balance to reverse her heart’s thudding. She slumped against the table. Her forehead hit the table, and she nudged her head into her textbook. A tear slid down her cheek in pure frustration.


	3. Chapter 3

Flopping on her bed, Ruby smothered her face into her pillow. Her thoughts were in no particular order that night. While she had distracted herself with Chika’s instructions on the video and Mari’s motivational speech, she had only seen them smile at the camera. She had not heard a single word of their advice.  
  
Dia had been too spacey. She had been mean, too, and Ruby didn’t know what made her so defensive about her showing affection.  
  
Ruby didn’t have a clue what that meant.  
  
Didn’t Dia like it when she was like that?  
  
In fact, she wished she could have done _more_. Taking care of Dia’s papercut wasn’t enough. Dia wasn’t treating herself well these days.  
  
Ruby didn’t know what would relieve her stress. She had jumped through mental hoops working out a plan, but Dia wouldn’t hear her out when she told her to rest.  
  
Everything would be okay in the morning. It always was. They fought, and Ruby was wounded with Dia’s stinginess, but they recovered in due time. That was what sisters did. They didn’t hold arguments forever.  
  
\---  
  
At breakfast, Dia picked at her food. Agitated, she shifted her chopsticks in her natto and didn’t touch her rice at all. Not once did she look up at Ruby. With a mumbled goodbye, she headed off to school extra early.  
  
The pattern continued for a few days. The light in Dia’s room was on late. She stayed closer to Mari and Kanan during practices. Every morning she hurried to leave. Most of all, she still didn’t look Ruby in the eye.  
  
Ruby was at a stalemate. Dia was barely talking to her sans a couple phrases. Good morning, how are you doing, good night―and she gave Ruby less than a straight-on glance when she claimed she wasn’t working herself too hard. She locked herself in the student council room. Ruby couldn't stand it. Dia was precious to her, and she didn't know how to feel without her constant attention.  
  
Without Dia, the emptiness swallowed her heart and soul whole. Longingly, she would stare at the student council room and will herself to rattle the door. She didn’t dare.  
  
So, Hanamaru seemed to take matters into her own hands. She purposefully dragged Ruby to the library by the elbow when she was especially upset. The library had always been their quiet refuge. Despite herself, Ruby was quite relieved to slip into a plush chair and smell the familiar scent of books.  
  
"What's wrong, Ruby-chan?" Hanamaru asked her. She organized a big pile of magazines on the desk from Yoshiko’s bag in front of her.  
  
To their surprise, Yoshiko had a plethora of romance magazines that she wanted to share with them. Whenever Ruby asked for details Yoshiko would cross her arms over her chest and babble something about the darkness and fire. It was vague, but the concept of love and romance was even more so to Ruby.  
  
Yoshiko’s biggest contribution was the find-your-perfect-soulmate magazines. Ruby didn't believe in that kind of thing, that soulmates magically found each other. Not really. Most people learned to love the person they wanted to be with. Still, Ruby was invested in anything she could learn out of them, although she hadn't searched through the articles much on her own terms.  
  
When had Yoshiko decided she needed love? Didn’t Hanamaru know plenty? Had Ruby fallen behind without noticing? Reading the magazines was less difficult for Hanamaru. Hanamaru devoured them like any book.  
  
At least, she couldn’t understand it the same. When was she supposed to fall in love with someone, and why didn’t she mind not falling in love like they did? Wasn’t that normal?  
  
Dia’s face swam to her conscious. Ruby’s head tilted a bit. Yes, she should pay attention to restoring her love with Dia.  
  
Wait . . . why did Ruby think of Dia?  
  
Ruby sunk in her chair. This whole mess was overly complicated, and her chest tightened. "I don't . . . I don't really know," Ruby replied. In a way, it was uplifting to admit it. But she couldn’t spill the beans; something about her relationship to Dia felt like it should be hidden. She couldn’t articulate the words, either. Even to Hanamaru. The deception in that wasn’t lost on her, but now, it was for the best. She had no idea how she should feel. "I'm okay, I don't know what to think."  
  
Hanamaru examined her for a moment. It was clear she was aware of something and was willing to wait for her to get it off her chest. Yet she wouldn’t pry unreasonably.  
  
Just to break the tension, Ruby picked up a magazine at random. "What's that one?"  
  
Hanamaru’s mouth rounded a bit. She shook her head. "No, you don’t want to look―"  
  
“Hey, Zarumaru, don’t be so bossy,” Yoshiko told her. She flipped through a magazine of her own and circled a few of the answers for the quiz she was taking. “Let her look. Not even the cutest little demon is that pure.”  
  
Hanamaru smirked at her. She learned towards her and poked her on the forehead. "Is that another one from Riko-chan's stash?" she whispered into her ear. “You said you wouldn’t bring those to school. Those are too, shall we say, risqué for Ruby-chan.”  
  
Yohane’s face erupted into tomato red. Now that she had finally caught onto what Ruby was looking at, she didn’t dignify that with a reply. She smacked away her hand and coughed, voice lighter. "Leave Lily out of this. Y-You're being an insolent little demon!"  
  
Hanamaru shrugged, and Yoshiko rambled on, but Ruby tuned them both out. In fact, the cover of the magazine caught her attention far more. The woman in the picture smiled captivatedly. There was a focus on her the curves of her neck and collarbones. Ruby gulped, despite herself quite fascinated.  
  
No, she couldn’t lose heart now!  
  
She had to be as concentrated as Dia had been. It was hurting Dia, but . . . this was for Dia’s good, which was enough for her.  
  
What was it Yoshiko had told her she should be? Dangerous, was it? A dangerous aura?  
  
Ruby didn’t think she could ever do that. But did she have to try something brand new?  
  
Had Dia’s interest in her waned over time? When had Dia's attention started to drift from her? Weeks, months ago? The more she thought, the less she wanted to know.  
  
Ruby shook her head and closed her eyes.  
  
But this also gave Ruby a burst of confidence. This was for . . . For . . . This was the boost she needed to get her to open up after so long and involve Dia in her life again?  
  
Ruby steeled herself. Yes, she had a good feeling about this. She simply had to follow through. Then, she scooped up a pageful of glossy pages and eagerly flipped through them. She didn't know what to expect, but there was a wealth of information that might help. Ruby only needed that as her guide.  
  
On a bold header she read: "Kinky Ways to Build Trust." From then on, her eyes glued to each paragraph as she absorbed the text.


	4. Chapter 4

Peering outside the student council’s window, she glanced down at Uranohoshi Girls' High School’s grounds. The sky was still light; most students should be headed to club activities.  
  
Luckily, today there was no Aqours practice. Mari had invited her to go out shopping but Dia had explained there was too much to do with the budget. Mari wanted to search for accessories, and Dia wasn’t in the mood to browse a bunch of cutesy things (she knew exactly which accessories would look cute in Ruby’s hair and she would have to buy it).  
  
Ruby was the last person that she wanted to see her like this. Yet her inhibitions were for Ruby’s own good. Taking up Mari’s invitation may have been a breath of fresh air, but she had to wait for this irrational love to pass. Surely, it would be soon, even though it felt like an eternity. In these circumstances, the tides were turned against her favor.  
  
Dia wiped the sweat from her forehead. Her stomach growled, and she sighed, wondering when she last ate. Wasn’t it at breakfast?  
  
Sliding out of her chair, she decided to head to the nearest vending machine. A snack was in order. Dia tiptoed down the hallway towards the exit and shuffled for her change.  
  
She didn’t understand her own cautiousness. Was she that worried Ruby would see her?  
  
Laughter came from outside. Dia bristled for a moment on alert, and then she relaxed. That person didn’t even sound like Ruby at all.  
  
Dia’s wariness deflated. She was being silly.  
  
But as if to defy her, the sliding door to the nearest classroom opened. One of Ruby’s pigtail peeked out. Dia blanched, ready to backtrack all the way back to the student council room. Ruby’s head poked out of the door. The sight of Ruby punched forced Dia’s lungs to tighten—just how long had she gone without looking at Ruby fully?  
  
Ruby jumped a bit. She clutched the book in her hand, having forgotten it in her classroom. But she was not willing to let this chance fly by. Her step was firm as she stepped out.  
  
“Onee-chan. . . .”  
  
The crunch of Ruby’s slipper woke Dia out of her reverie. She blinked, mesmerized, staring down at her hands. Dia had originally thought taking a break alone would be the perfect cure for her stress, but now that she wasn’t with her paperwork, she wanted to talk to Ruby all over again. Sighing, she squeezed the 500 yen piece. She didn’t move.  
  
  
  
“I can’t believe this,” Dia mumbled. How could she be that clueless Ruby was still in the building? Now what was she to do? “Sorry, Ruby. I’ll let you go home.” Dia turned on her heel and started to backtrack to the student council room as fast as her feet would go.  
  
Dia disappeared behind the nearest corner at lightning speed, her footfalls loud.  
  
Ruby’s eyes narrowed. No, she was sick of that attitude, and she was done with Dia avoiding her and beating herself up. Instead, Ruby was pushed between a rock and a hard place. Being too forward might be too much. All the same, it was the last straw.  
  
Ruby raced after her. As soon as she saw her, she launched herself at Dia and threw her arms around her neck. She buried her cheek against her collarbone and pulled her against her chest. All Dia could think about was her chest flattening against Ruby’s. Like this, she felt Ruby’s heartbeat thumping in her chest.  
  
Dia bumped, hard, into the open student council room door. Her eyes rounded.  
  
“R-Ruby?” The fear in Dia’s voice was evident. She wasn’t angry at Ruby, though. She was merely . . . shocked at how strong her grip was, holding Dia close. Appalled that her innocent little sister could touch someone so impure and willingly do it, and a sister that wanted to be around Dia despite that.  
  
The straightforwardness of her own actions caught up to Ruby a moment later.  
  
“Ek!” Ruby jumped backwards. She hadn’t noticed how brazen she had been. But it didn’t hurt as much as the look of horror on Dia’s face. A sense of dread came over her, and a small teardrop slid down her cheek. All her emotions stirred up within her chest.  
  
"You're right . . . I'm sorry. . . ." Ruby said.  
  
"No, no! Don't cry!" Distraught, Dia wildly glanced around herself. There was no exits besides slamming the door in Ruby’s face. There was no way to throw out the truth without sounding like Ruby shouldn’t be near her. She didn’t know how to handle this.  
  
Cuts, bruises, encouragement. . . .  
  
Those things were well-known to Dia.  
  
But this was another level of confusion.  
  
The tears slowed down. Ruby wiped her cheeks with her hand, but she wasn’t there to be sad. After all, she had other things on her agenda. She had to at least try to make this work, and if Dia didn’t want to in the end, she wouldn’t do this. But she couldn’t let Dia get away when it was obvious she needed her.  
  
“I want to, um, try something with you,” Ruby said. Her cheeks immediately tinted red. She didn’t know if that was the way to phrase it. “I hope it’s okay.” No, she had to be less hesitant. Ruby nodded to herself, but the presence of the situation hit her like a softball to the stomach—Dia finally couldn’t run away from her—and it was overwhelming.  
  
Ruby’s fingers carded through Dia’s voluminous, smooth hair. She shivered, engrossed with her warmth and softness. There was many thoughts in her head, but they fly out the window, and she suddenly found her lips pressed against Dia’s.  
  
Weak-kneed, Dia gripped at her skirt, brain malfunctioning. She saw Ruby in front of her and incertitude cross her expression. None of it registered right away. Before she knew it,  Ruby’s weight pushed her into the room, and the slammed behind her. But for Dia, the world’s senses had dissolved purely into the sweetness of Ruby’s skin against her own.  
  
What was happening? Why was Ruby doing this? What was on the other side of this burst in affection? Imagine, she was as light as a balloon sailing towards the heavens. What had she done to deserve this? Dia clutched her skirt until her knuckles were white.  
  
Ruby pulled her past her desk. She kept their lips together until she pushed her lightly down into the chair. Dia tumbled to an ungraceful sit, the chair bouncing under her body. Ruby stared down at her.  
  
Dia swallowed thickly. Her entire body burned at the sight of her. She had always wanted Ruby to look at her that way, but . . . Slowly, the kiss seemed real, and she blushed.  
  
“Ruby. . . .” she said,  still baffled and mind short-circuiting that Ruby was so concerned,  Ruby’s actions were like a dream, a shower of pouring of rain that roared in her ears.  
  
The sound of her voice sent a jolt down Ruby’s spine. It was so . . . needy. . . .  
  
Now that she was up-close, she noticed that Dia didn’t seem to be so wound up. She wasn’t exactly calm, but all things considered, she wasn’t trying to get away anymore.  
  
“You shouldn’t have to do that, Dia,” Ruby said softly. “It’s too much pressure.”  
  
Dia glanced at the mountain of paperwork on the desk. She couldn’t hide that. “No, it’s not that.” Dia told her. “I’m fine, I promise.” She didn’t believe the sound of her own voice.  
  
Ruby didn’t believe her, not one bit. She kicked lightly at the floor. If she had been able to do something before . . . yet, she hadn’t known what to do back then. . . .  
  
It hurt her a lot. More than anything.  
  
“It’s not.” Ruby placed a hand on Dia’s shoulder. “I-I love you more than anything in the whole world. I hate you aren’t looking at me.  You can be disgusted by what I want to do, but . . . I think you want this too. No, _need_ . . . So, I want to do something that’ll prove that you trust me and I trust you.”  
  
Ruby didn’t know what overcame her. She should feel disgusting for this—seducing her older sister, ignoring logic or regard that she may want to keep her feelings a secret—but she had to break the gap. Besides, the signs in Yoshiko’s magazine were there clear as day in Dia’s actions. Dia’s attention was trained solely on her. A thrill went through Ruby.  
  
Yes, she had to make Dia realize she couldn’t brush away her own feelings for so long.  
  
Once again, she examined Dia’s neck above the collar of her uniform skirt. What would it feel like, to have Dia’s hands there on her skin? What would it feel like to be under her spell and give her safety over to her?  
  
Ruby’s hand cupped Dia’s. She laced their fingers together and pulled Dia’s hand towards her neck. She placed it on her skin and fanned out Dia’s fingers. Under her skin, Dia felt Ruby’s pulse point beat steadily.  
  
There was no easy way to say it, so she would just go ahead. Ruby took a breath, hyperaware of her unreasonable request.  
  
“I want you to,” Ruby said, stroking the back of Dia’s hand, “I want you to c-choke me.” The words felt so foreign, but she had seen it enough in the magazine she had read. In her mind, it sounded safe after researching if done correctly. The aghast horror in Dia’s eyes made Ruby cringe. Her hand shook.  
  
“I wouldn’t do something like that!” Dia scooted against the back of the chair.  
  
Dia didn’t understand where this newfound interest in such dangerous things had stemmed from. Of course it was Yoshiko’s fault! She was an entirely bad influence!  
  
Ruby’s blush intensified. “No, no . . . there’s nothing wrong with it . . . I’ll tell you how, it’s just that that it feels good when. . . .” She stumbled over her own words  to explain, and Dia couldn’t help but notice that Ruby’s longing was reaching a high point.  
  
Quickly, Ruby took a breath to stabilize her own nerves. She had thought it would be the best idea to put the reins in Dia’s hands, but she put the cart before the horse. Dia wasn’t prepared. What had she been thinking? Even if she did, her fingers weren’t steady enough, her mind wasn’t in the right place for it. She should have approached this differently.  
  
Ruby wasn’t an expert, but she was the one who knew the most about this. The more she thought about it, she wanted to see Dia under her, looking up at her while giving herself over to her, body and soul completely hers.  
  
"You’re right. That's a really big decision to place on you so suddenly," Ruby protested with a sniffle. But she steeled herself again. “But I thought it’d be the best way tell you that you don’t have to feel bad about being with me, even if things are difficult.”  
  
Before she knew it Ruby pressed both hands on either side of Dia’s head on the chair. Then, it sank in that she was the one in charge; Dia was disorientated but willing. Dia’s hand flimsily traced Ruby’s collarbone just to feel her. She was enraptured, hoping to keep her modesty. But she was losing that battle.  
  
Her head swam at the implications, but she finally understood, and she wanted it. Even if this was a dream, she was too flustered to reject her, desperate to be with her now.  
  
Ruby allowed Dia’s hand to drop. She leaned in and pressed her cheek to Dia’s shoulder. Her hair tickled Dia’s skin and Dia exhaled, excited. Usually, Ruby’s expression was calm like a spring day, but now it was anything but. The tension between them was like the fierce winds before a storm ready to barrel down.  
  
“Do you trust me?” Ruby said.  
  
Dia nodded instantly. There was no preamble on her part—she didn’t have to think about it.  
  
“Even if it’ll be uncomfortable?” Ruby asked. There was a bit of apprehension, a finality that she had to make sure. “I’ll take care of you . . . no matter how hard things are. You don’t have to do everything all by yourself. Just tell me if it’s too much for you to handle.”  
  
“Yes,” Dia answered, still not fazed. She gasped as her words echoed in her ears. “I believe you would never hurt me. Ever.”  
  
In a way, Dia had sometimes felt the same way. She wouldn’t be able to breathe while she watched Ruby simply walking, or even talking to others, and she hadn’t been able to when she couldn’t tell her how much she cared about her as more than a sister.  
  
So, was it much different from how it already was? That she couldn’t breathe, her life was centered on Ruby, her life was in fully hers?  
  
Dia didn’t know what she expected Ruby to do but it wasn’t to swipe her tongue across the base of her neck. Dia moaned a bit, and Ruby’s lips brushed against her collarbone. She left a trail of kisses above Dia’s exposed collarbone. Then, she dipped lower to her the hollow of her throat, her breath hot and wet. Soon, she became bold enough to lightly bite there, Riuby’s mind already a feverish haze.  
  
Ruby wanted to cover everything. She didn’t want to leave a spot on Dia untouched.  
  
At the corner of her eye, she looked at her handiwork. Dia was reduced to looking at the ceiling in bliss. Dia’s skin was warmer and darker, which pleased Ruby greatly.  
  
She wasn’t flawless, which was part of the experience. She had so many things to try.  
  
One of Ruby’s hands slid lower. She lifted Dia’s shirt. Ticklishly, her fingertips crawled up the expanse of Dia’s stomach, pulling the shirt up along with her ministrations until the lower half of a lacey black bra came into view. Dia’s body quivered, unable to keep still.  
  
Dia stiffened a bit. “Wait,” she said.  
  
Ruby did, blinking. She looked quizzical.  
  
“My . . . that’s to say. . . .” Dia trailed off.  
  
Dia envisioned looking into the mirror at her body. No matter how many times she turned, her breasts had always seemed too small. It wasn’t just how she was addressed or her mole—she worried about her attractiveness. Many times she had wondered whether Ruby would prefer small or large breasts. Would they be good enough to touch? If Ruby was going to go this far for her and their intimacy was genuine, was her body enough to satisfy and measure up to Ruby’s personal likes?  
  
Ruby’s nose wrinkled when she didn’t continue. However, she smiled, and then hooked a finger under the bra’s elastic.  
  
“It’s okay. I-I’ve been thinking about this recently, too,” Ruby told her. The rise and fall of Dia’s ample chest fascinated her; she wanted to see her as her breasts moved, touch her whilst she breathed, while she could and couldn’t breath equally. “It’s perfect the way it is. I want to touch them.”  
  
With that, Ruby cupped her bare skin. The bra pushed up the more she surrounded the curve of her tits, kneading her, flicking her nipple. Dia’s back arched against the head of her chair, panting wildly. The chair bent slightly backwards under her weight.  
  
Dia could only _feel_ and remember to grip onto Ruby arm. Somehow she had found leverage there. Dia still felt like she was falling, and she didn’t quite mind the turmoil. She was happy and couldn’t combat it anymore.  
  
All the stress in her body slowly started to dissipate. She could feel her limbs relax, her mind unwind from the tangle of knots and pins and needles she had been standing on since she her love for Ruby had manifested into something more that shouldn’t be. Yet here they were it was being reciprocated.  
  
In the chaos, Dia relaxed. Her hair fanned out at her sides and she closed her eyes. She sighed—this was the barrier of separation being shattered into a thousand pieces—and Ruby observed the way she opened her legs. She knelt between her legs and settled in, nudging her legs wider with her knee.  
  
Dia’s eyes were everywhere but on her, though. Ruby hummed to herself. How could she fix that? On the desk Dia’s handkerchief caught her attention. It was a long one, but Ruby perked up, knowing what she had to do. She paused long enough to grab the handkerchief and unravel it.  
  
When Ruby’s hands left her, she was disappointed. Nonetheless, Dia wasn’t left unattended for long, and Ruby raised the handkerchief in front of her face.  
  
Darkness swallowed Dia’s vision, and the cloth brushed her forehead. Ruby’s fingers trailed behind her hand and securely fastened it with a knot. She curled her fingers in Dia’s hair, positioning her head in a comfortable postion. Despite her reading, she didn’t know what she was doing one hundred percent, but she found she didn’t mind exploring. All that was important was taking care of Dia’s needs.  
  
“I want you to focus on me, Dia,” Ruby said, hands returning to their respective places.  
  
Dia didn’t mind now that she had a taste of it. Ruby’s movements were amplified in her mind’s eye as she imagined her there. The rubbing, and the heat in her expression.  
  
Ruby’s breath cascaded the hollow of Dia’s throat again. Ruby placed a finger under her chin and lifts up her head, and her hands went around Dia’s neck. She lightly stroked her neck. She could feel her windpipe at her fingertips and dip of her throat at the base of her palm. At first she was careful, her skin on the wet touches she had left just moments ago. She searched around until she could feel Dia’s pulse point. Unlike before, it beat even more rapidly than the first time. Engrossed, Ruby sat there and indulged in simply finding the lay of the land, the parts of Dia. It was as big as Dia’s own heart, so loud to her.  
  
Underneath her, Ruby could tell that Dia waited for her. She didn’t have to say anything—Dia would go along with anything that Ruby wanted for her, she would do.  
  
Dia relished Ruby’s shapely, delicate skin against, her hands flexed out. They were soft yet not slippery; she must have used hand softener earlier. There was a slight hint of raspberry and Dia greedily inhaled that in.  
  
Then, Ruby’s hand encircled her throat. She held her, and she squeezed down.  
  
Dia gasped. The air suddenly stopped flooding into her lungs, and she flailed and grabbed for the chair arm. Tears watered up in her eyes. The sound of it was raw, a moan for oxygen that her body craved. But her whole self was on high alert and there was an ache that spread from her neck and urgently trapped the rest of her head in a new fuzziness.  
  
Ruby was amazed by the way Dia’s pulse point soared into overdrive—her heart beats like a hammer against her finger. She moved her finger a bit and traced it along her neck, keeping it firmly against her skin. There were sporadic moments of air Dia gladly lapped up for herself, but Ruby’s hand on her was steady after a minute of practice.  
  
Ruby wanted to feel even more of Dia.  
  
Ruby’s fingers continued to dip in between Dia’s breasts, and she pinched her nipples for extra effect. Dia’s nipple welcomed her by rising, and she twisted it, turning to Dia’s other modest breast moments later and giving it as much of her focus. Dia’s breast smacked against her hand as she squirmed.  
  
Ruby released her throat after seconds of this. Dia let the air fill her lungs and deliver well-needed oxygen to her body. It was a relief, a necessary reprieve from the seesaw of pleasure and bracing for going over the edge of her own limits. Ruby wouldn’t allow that.  
  
During that intermit moment, Ruby peppered her neck with kisses along the hollow of her throat. She didn’t hesitate this time, and she tenderly traced the area she had forced into her own mercy. She listened to the air return to Dia’s throat, the way her throat inflated as she brought back the air she had cut off.  
  
Dia didn’t know how irregularly Ruby would do it. She didn’t know when she would choke her again, and the suspense killed her. She found it a rush to keep Ruby’s intentions so much in her the forefront of her mind.  
  
Again, Ruby’s hands tightened on the plush of Dia’s throat. Her first impulse is too fight, and she reflexively leans back to accommodate. The underwater sensation grips her frame. The world around her swayed and rocked, and her mouth parted, wheezes blurting out from her lips in tiny desperate whimpers.  
  
Despite herself, Dia’s legs clamped around Ruby’s body. Ruby’s fingers almost slip when she realizes something—Dia’s lower body is extremely _hot_ and she can smell her arousal. It was a sweet scent distinctly Dia only.  
  
Immediacy and lack of distraction brought Dia to a state of Ruby’s power over her. It was the mark of their intertwined existence, Ruby apart of who she was and her clinging to life.  
  
For Ruby, pinning Dia and holding her this way resembled mapping out their relationship in another light. It was their trust, newfound communication, and a deep-seated primal urge that Ruby enjoyed without restraint. Dia’s face was stretched and her mouth quirked at the edges. Her head bobbed each time she tried to catch a patch of air and failed. At this point, Ruby wished she could see her eyes and the way they looked like this, but it was the price to pay for Dia’s resolve not to waver, to notice her alone.  
  
Every minute Ruby’s actions were alternated. She kissed Dia’s throat to soothe her. Each time she pressed down was another flutter of fingers and sweat and heat. Dia’s nipples were not unattended. Ruby caressed them with the upmost care, and jolts of pleasure buzzed up Dia’s chest to her neck. The pleasure elevated her need to breathe. She keened upon the constant onslaught and spots appeared before her eyes with each tremor that demanded she enjoy herself.  
  
The additional pressure of Dia’s airways blocked and the moment of her climax rising, Dia’s entire body was strained. She had not realized just how easily worked up she could be while Ruby simply touched her. A puddle of her own juices soaks her panties.  
  
She hadn’t realized how worked up she had become from Ruby touching her so much but it was an afterthought as the world tilted and jeered at her from each way. Dia lost track of which way was which and where she was, and the dizziness forced the dim light that shone through the handkerchief to dance across her vision like stars falling into a deep ocean.  
  
Normally, she would call herself a monster . . . but she didn’t think of herself that way anymore. Ruby was there with her. The world was a blur of shadows under the blindfold, flashes of red and blue criss-crossing her vision as the asphyxiation struggled to draw breath into her lungs and revive her senses. Her entire body reeled, throat seized. Raw, low moans echoed throughout the room.  
  
Like Ruby had warned her, it would be terrifying. Her mind was dim, brain fuzzy. Everything was turning on its axis. But everything she knew wasn’t the same, and after this never would be. Because Ruby was in her life and that was enough for her.  
  
The sweet sensation of climax crested through Dia. She wanted to scream, but Ruby’s fingers stopped her. Her eyes bulged, body convulsing, body spasming under the sheer pressure of the trapped hair in her chest beating down on her ribcage.  
  
The chair jerked in the explosion of pleasure, and her back arched. Her juices dripped past her thighs and soiled the chair fabric beneath her. Dia, in her haze, is surprised at how excited the whole ordeal made her. She treasured every moment of it, because this was Ruby doing this. No one else. For every moment of pain and ache, there was an avalanche of warmth and love around her.  
  
Ruby removed her hand and crashed into her, exhausted herself from keeping track of herself. She hugged Dia after the middle.  
  
Now free, Dia’s throat swelled with oxygen as she gasped to gulp in as much as humanly allowed. She did this several times, chest bouncing against Ruby’s, body twitching under the sheer need for air, to return to Ruby and let her know that she was fine. She coughed, the sound loud and rough at first.  
  
“Dia?” Ruby asked.  
  
Dia slumped against the chair. She drew Ruby to sit on her lap. Ruby stands and adjusts to sitting on her lap, although she realized just how rigid her stance had been. Had she been really that in control of the situation, that focused on protecting Dia from trouble?  
  
“I love you,” Ruby said as she kissed her cheek and snuggled up to her, as if she hadn’t already. She liked to hear the words.  
  
Lazily, Dia smiled and rested her chin on her head. “I love you, too,” Dia replied to her. Her voice was a bit raspy but perfect as far as she was concerned. ”You’re my world.”  
  
From now on, Dia foresaw herself doing significantly less homework. But that was well-deserved, and she had more important things to deal with than her paperwork.


End file.
